With a booming and vibrant populace:
It seems like a natural fit for Craigslist to be the mode of interaction by which Los Angeles conducts trade casually online.
When sifting through the classifieds you can easily find a lot of useful things on Craigslist Los Angeles listings.
You might even become a bit overwhelmed by the process.
Which item or service is the right one for me?
Will the person I meet be friendly?
Will I overpay for the service or good?
The process can be a bit stressful.
Let me tell you it doesn’t have to be that way.
I still remember the first time I bought an item off of Craigslist and how nervous I was.
If you just hammer one point into your mind, you’ll never lose control throughout the process.
It’s a very simple principle:
Know that unless both parties (that includes YOU) agree to the trade at the negotiated price point then the deal is off!
Pure and simple.
Keep in mind:
There are literally billions and billions of trade agreements happening all the time.
Whenever you buy something online with your credit card you’re conducting trade.
When you buy your favorite canned juice from the store you’re conducting trade.
You’ve been exposed to trade your entire life!
If there was something you didn’t like at the grocery store did you buy it?
No, of course not!
The same principle applies here on Craigslist.
Be firm and confident and know that you’re dealing with another human being who is probably just as nervous and excited as you are.
So smile and enjoy the experience!
And don’t be too hard on yourself.
The first time you buy or even sell anything on Craigslist it’s going to be a learning experience for you.
Here are some examples of the craziest items sold on Craigslist to help you feel better.
How about a Magical horse?
The price is as follows:
“If you have any albino chickens we may be able to negotiate.
Or 800 dollars worth of Fred Meyers gift cards so I can continue to buy horseradish for my other horse.”
You must have a magnificent stead on your hands!
Interested in collecting belly button lint?
This gentleman has some stored in a jar for trade with a “muscle car, harley, rifles gold coins work also or make cash offer, also interested in motor cycles.”
Maybe someone desperately needs some for an experiment of some kind… lol.
It turns out that there’s a black Friday special for a human soul on Craigslist.
It’s for “someone that could help me acquire holiday gifts for myself and family…
You will receive a contract and certificate of authenticity both will be signed in my own blood.”
There’s an “idiot dog to any home” being listed for sale on Craigslist.
The seller included “$20 to cover cost of electric training collar…
He’s 2 years old and has ADHD…
Attention span maxes out at 4 seconds…
You can watch his brain shut off.
His eyes go vacant in a blink.”
Interested in owning a “totally AWESOME Kimball Organ?”
There’s one for sale at “any offer! Any trades considered!” even if it’s “a cute puppy.”
The only catch is that it “does not turn on.”
Here’s probably the craziest offer ever.
A “1985 Space Shuttle Atlantis OV-104″ for sale by “original owner…
flown 32 times for a total of 120,650,907 miles” with “one possible mission remaining.”
It’s valued at “1.7 billion, willing to take offers.”
Not sure if this is real or not.
Hipster tires for sale.
Described as being a “hella good deal” which you can use for “like a jillion thousand miles.”
They are “so fresh because they so colorful they hurt your eyes to look at.”
You can buy them for “15 dolla” so make sure to “get em while they in season.”
Mini donkey anyone?
The donkey is a “preccocious seven year old with penchant for opening gates, army-crawling under fences and waking up the neighbors at ungodly hours…
Demands a king’s ransom in the finest hay.”
How does a “lifetime supply of hot sauce” sound?
“I have many, many boxes of hot sauce to trade for something equally awesome…
I’m guessing it’s about 200 lb of sauce; easily enough to crush a man…
Did I mention that there’s a lot of it?”
A roll of “uncertain tin foil” for sale which “is a veritable joy to work with, due to its indecision regarding the nature of its unraveling…”
Ya that’s a weird one for sure.
“At times it sprouts ribbons, shiny ribbons of joy.”
“Have the love of your life by your heart forever” with a shrunken pet head amulet.
You heard me right.
“I will shrink your pets head to the size of an amulet.
You can then wear it on a chain or leather strip and have them by your heart forever…”
Haunted 1960s Coffee Grinder.
“The finest setting is still pretty coarse, but if you use a French press, you’re in hipster coffee heaven…
I’ve woken up several nights to find the grinder had moved from my kitchen counter to my nightstand and was watching me sleep.”
It’s free and looks like a butt.
You can “hold it up to your butt in pictures and it looks like you have a pumpkin for a butt.
Due to the high demand:
We will no longer be taking calls.”
How about an “ugly mean cat” for free?
“Lou is a mean cat.
She will probably bite and scratch you.
She will pee on your carpet.
She will not go out of house…
She has to go to new owners.”
On the bright side:
“She is spayed.”
Canoe-rowing dwarf needed for canoe trip.
“It started as a joke between friends about me bringing a dwarf, but I’m wantin to surprise everyone.
So you must have a good sense of humor.
I’ll pay you $100.”
Room for rent:
The cupboard under the stairs.
The ad said it was a:
“Great private room in a three bedroom apartment.”
I don’t think room under a stair classifies as a private room.
You gotta hand it to them though:
Massive points for their creativity.
How about a “free human sized hamster wheel.
The post says it’s “available for immediate pickup.
Can accommodate up to 200 lbs.
Not recommended for houses with small children or animals.
50 lbs of shredded newspaper also available.”
“Need to borrow/rent live ducks (not a joke).
Hosting a house party.
Need ducks for party game…
Ducks will be gently secured into passenger seats of model train set.
Origami hats made of 1, 5 and 10 dollar bills will be placed on each ducks head.”
Prison pen-pal anyone?
“29 year old white male, made some wrong choices in life:
looking for someone to write him.”
He even included the prison’s address so that your mail reaches him at the right address.
One man reached out to a bad first date writing:
“To the women who crapped her pants in my car…
At some point in life:
Everyone has gambled on a fart and lost.
I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber…”
Pop tarts are apparently good for more than just breakfast.
One person sought out an “Artist to help create Pop Tarts mural” stating:
They would “supply the pop tarts, you create the artwork.”
They even went as far as to take out “a small loan to fund the Pop Tarts.”
This takes service to a whole new level.
One person posted an ad on Craigslist writing:
“I’ll give you $2 + cost if you deliver me some orange juice with receipt.
I’m too lazy to get it myself.
I live right by University Drive in Elon.
Anyone like a duck mask?
One was posted to Craigslist described as being:
A “full head rubber mask, old, has discoloration on white feather part from age, storage.
Hey, I got it on my big head, so it works that way.”
“My kid is having a birthday coming up soon…
so I figured I’d better get a pony…
please contact me, and then immediately start putting barbeque sauce in it’s bedding or add some Lawry’s to it’s salt lick – I like to marinade it early and long…”
Here’s a wacky as possible posting:
“I have OVER 1300 Pope hats (replicas) that I REALLY need to get rid of.
The pope hats came from China… and are also irritating to the skin, so you would need to have long hair or wear a smaller hat underneath (just like the REAL POPE).”
Would you feel comfortable sending or receiving this request?
“I need someone to hide eggs in my apt when I am not there!
They are small and filled with candy!
I would like to find them myself!
I am willing to pay!
Serious inquiries only!”
“I have a free couch for anyone who can get it back out of my room.
So why am I listing it for free?
Because I am pretty sure it is physically impossible to remove this thing from my second story bedroom down the narrow hallway, down the narrower staircase…”
“So, my fiancee and I are getting married in June.
He has 8 groomsmen lined up and I only have one bridesmaid.
So, I need some girls who are attractive and around my age to stand up in my wedding…
you just have to be hot.
But, not hotter then me.”
“I left my Dentures in your Silverado last night.
I gave you my number but did not get yours.
Please call me asap.
I need my teeth.
We met in the parking lot of Margarita Jones.
Get back to me asap please.
“This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you.
Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear – however he will bite your face if you try to touch it…
someone please take this thing out of my house.”
“This is a collection of ketchup packets from around the world.
Approximately 25 countries are represented here, including japan, finland, estonia, greenland, brazil, and portugal.
None of the packets have been opened and they are labeled with their home country.”
“I get 40 – 50 texts an hour, I cant handle my workload plus texting responsibilities.
My phone gets too full and needs to be deleted every couple of hours.
This is a full time position and you must be where ever I am at, because my phone is always with me.
Serious inquiries only.”
What are your thoughts?
Which of these do you think was the absolute craziest?